I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
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