I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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