You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
