dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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