never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Mom said you looked used
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
