she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
