Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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