just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize