after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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