24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
