Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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