You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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