Are my feet made of real feet?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
