They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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