Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize