How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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