I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
