I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
