in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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