She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
