I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
