She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
