we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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