Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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