addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Are we still banned from the library?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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