When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
