you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
