"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
