So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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