Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i dont even know how to be here
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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