She went from zero to smokin in five shots
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize