I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize