Kiss
Puke
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
