please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
