left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
