If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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