we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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