i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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