So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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