I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize