Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
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