Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
