You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize