Whod you bang
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
