I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Randomize
