i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
