someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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