Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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