i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
