Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
