I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
