All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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