i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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