glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize