I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
