You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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