found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
