haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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