Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
